Heroine movie review

Well...It was time when the well awaited movie from Madhur Bhandarkar got released..Heroine was in the news for a while when Aishwarya Rai was replaced by Kareena Kapoor and she saying the movie as a milestone in her career. I had great expectations when I heard about the new movie from Bhandarkar as he never disappointed me with such movies like Page 3 and Fashion, where he openly showed things that happened behind the scenes in the glamour industry..As for Heroine, I was disappointed, there is nothing new that Bhandarkar had to offer in the film rather than the same set of events, which are very much predictable.

The movie shows lights on various characters who bears resemblance to real life characters, a Khan superstar who has a posessive wife who even decides his heroines to a Punjabi cricketer who dates only heroines, but the depth of the movie looses as it moves forward and the story line becomes more and more predictable. The lead actress Kareena had done a splendid acting, but in certain scenes she looses her natural acting and her struggle to keep performing is clear on stage, her character has some shades of real life heroines including her and that makes the story look good, but again and again the story has nothing more to offer and predictability kills the film at times. The only new thing I felt was the lesbian affair it showed between  heroines including the character Mahi played by Kareena.

The star performer of the movie was Randeep Hooda, who plays Indian cricket vice captain who dates Kareena for a while and later breaks up when she gives importance to career over marriage. Hooda has impressed me and many critics who watched the film, and as we all said his performance gets bigger and better each time and his presence and acting skills never fades throughout the film. Arjun Rampal does his part well, but Hooda has clearly stolen the show with his brilliant acting especially the break up scene with Kareena. Though Mughda Godse and Helen did their roles, roles are too short to even comment on them and the film focuses on their stories less.

The film shows that glamour and fame gives us a lot but takes from us a lot and this remains the central theme. Mahi, comes from a troubled family and makes it big in Bollywood and later faces tough times until finally she decides to give up even her name and lives as a normal person abroad (though this is a bit unbeleivable). The songs are not that catchy, but the presence of Kareena definitely adds brand value to the film, may be a one time watch, but Bhandarkar fans are definitely going to be disappointed.

One of my favourite songs lyrics...Tujhe bhula diya from Anjaana Anjaani movie

Naina lageeyan baarishan
Te sukke sukke sapne vi pijj gaye
Naina lageeyan baarishan
Rove palkan de kone vich neendh meri
Naina laggeyan baarishan
Hanju digde ne chot lage dil te
Naina laggeyan baarishan
Rut birha de badlan di chaa gayi

Kaali kaali khaali raaton se
Hone lagi hai dosti
Khoya khoya inn raahon mein
Ab mera kuch bhi nahi
Har pal har lamha
Main kaise sehta hoon
Har pal har lamha
Main khudh se yeh kehta rehta hoon
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Phir kyun teri yaadon ne
Mujhe rula diya oh
Mujhe rula diya

Teri yaadon mein likhe jo lafz dete hai sunayi
Beetay lamhe poochte hai kyun hue aise judaa
Khuda, khuda mila jo yeh faasla hai
Khuda tera hi yeh faisla hai
Khuda hona tha woh ho gaya
Jo tune tha likha

Kaali kaali khaali raaton se
Hone lagi hai dosti
Khoya khoya inn raahon mein
Ab mera kuch bhi nahi
Har pal har lamha
Main kaise sehta hoon
Har pal har lamha
Main khudh se yeh kehta rehta hoon
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Phir kyun teri yaadon ne
Mujhe rula diya oh
Mujhe rula diya

Naina lageeyan baarishan
Te sukke sukke sapne vi pijj gaye
Naina lageeyan baarishan
Rut birha de badlan di cha gayi

Do pal tujhse juda tha
Aise phir rasta muda tha
Tujhse mein khone laga
Juda jaise hone laga
Mujhse kuch mera


Tu hi meri liye ab kar dua
Tu hi iss dard se kar de juda
Tera hoke tera jo main na raha
Main yeh khud se kehta hoon

Tujhe bhula diya oh
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Tujhe bhula diya oh
Phir kyun teri yaadon ne
Mujhe rula diya oh
Mujhe rula diya

[Extra Movie Version Below]
Tu nahin toh, inn labon pe ik shikaayat reh gayi hai
Door hi jab karna tha toh paas kyun laaya batah
Khuda kabhi tujhe bhi toh pyaar hoga
Khuda judaa tera yaar hoga
Khuda jaanega tu faaslon ka hai yeh dard kya

Jagjit Singh Film song Lyrics " Kiska Chehra Ab Main Dekhoon "

Chaand bhi dekha
Phool bhi dekha
Baadal bijli titli jugnu
Koi nahin hai aisa
Tera husn hai jaisa
Tera husn hai jaisa

Meri nigaah ne ye kaisa khwaab dekha hai
Zameen pe chalta hua mahathab dekha hai

Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar
Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar
Kiska chehra
Kiska chehra ab main dekhoon 
Tera chehra dekhkar
Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar

Neend bhi dekhi
Khwaab bhi dekha
Neend bhi dekhi
Khwaab bhi dekha
Choodi bindiya darpan khushboo
Koi nahin hai aisa
Tera pyaar hai jaisa
Tera pyaar hai jaisa

Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar
Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar
Kiska chehra
Kiska chehra ab main dekhoon 
Tera chehra dekhkar
Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar

Rang bhi dekha
Roop bhi dekha
Rang bhi dekha 
Roop bhi dekha
Rasta manzil saahil mehfil
Koi nahin hai aisa
Tera saath hai jaisa
Tera saath hai jaisa

Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar
Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar
Kiska chehra
Kiska chehra ab main dekhoon 
Tera chehra dekhkar
Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar

Bahut khoobsuat hai aankhein tumhaari
Bana dijiye inko kismat hamari
Usay aur kya chaahiye zindagi mein
Jise mil gayi mohabbat tumhari

My short story---The Girl who never existed

THE GIRL WHO NEVER EXISTED

Lucy was anxious as she sat outside the Principal’s room, she felt restless on the cold bench, when she heard someone open the Principal’s door.  She saw a lady in her early thirties coming out of the room; she had a bandage on the right side of her head and looked both angry and sad. She was followed by a nun who wore the official white and black robes and said to her

“Teacher, we have to probe better in to the situations. I agree that a mistake was made, but it happened so suddenly and we have already informed his mother, she will be….”

The nun took notice of Lucy, who stood up seeing the nun and the lady approaching her. The nun looked at her apprehensively and asked: “Lucy?”

Lucy nodded, the nun looked at the teacher and she left the place, leaving the nun and Lucy behind. The nun opened the half door to her office and Lucy went in, the nun followed and said (gesturing the seat opposite her office table while sitting herself):” I am Sister Matilda, the Principal of this school. I had to call you regarding your son.”

Lucy: “Why, what happened?”

Matilda: “This matter is serious; to attack a teacher is the least we can tolerate here. Robert is a smart kid, there’s no denying it, that’s why we had no problems in admitting him here, but these kinds of behaviors….”

Lucy (half rising from the chair): “Rob attacked a teacher?”

Matilda:” We need you to stay calm. The lady you saw who just exited my room was his teacher Rose. Today in class, she found Robert looking towards the glass of the window constantly and even after repeatedly asking what he was looking at, he didn’t respond. At last when she asked by going near him, he threw the toy near him on her face, it missed her eyes and hit the forehead. As a matter of fact, he insisted that he didn’t want to do this but did it as a girl told him, but there were no girls sitting near him, so we had to call you. We would recommend you take him to a psychiatrist, we cannot allow him to continue here…”

Lucy: “But he is just a boy, may be…how can you do this to me? You know that I lost my husband only recently and have a tough time to raise him...?”

Matilda:” I know what you went through, but the safety of people here should be my primary concern. Robert is not talking to anyone after this and he just sits in his seat after we told that we were going to call you. I want you to take him to a good psychiatrist and give him better treatment so he can come back as a better person.”

Lucy could feel the tears flowing down her cheeks. She said ‘Thank you’ and left the room. She could see Robert, a boy of nearly eight years in his uniform, sitting on the bench she had earlier occupied. He was facing down. Lucy went near him and touched his shoulders. He slowly looked up and she took his hand. He stood up and they both started walking towards the corridor that leads to the schools exit.

Dr. Jones sat in his office facing Lucy who was anxiously looking at the doctor for answers.

Jones:” Well, I talked to Robert, seems like he couldn’t think much before he reacted. He didn’t mean to attack the teacher, but he needs proper treatment.”

Lucy: “Are you suggesting he is having mental disorders?”

Jones: “You should face this situation with a bit more courage; he is suffering from schizophrenia if I am not wrong. Robert is not able to say the difference between what is real and what is not. For instance, he says he saw a girl standing on the window sill outside his class asking him to come and play with him. He told yellow maple leaves were falling all around her and when the teacher told him to look away from the window, she asked him to throw the toy at her. He said he could just obey and had no other choice. We know that we don’t have any maple trees here and no girl could stand on the window sill either, so this is a character from his imagination. The accident his father faced may have affected him. Do you have anyone with this condition in either of the families?”

Lucy:” I don’t know doctor neither do I care. I want him to be normal. I want him back as he was.”

Jones: “We may need antipsychotic medication that can suppress dopamine receptor activity that will help him. Does he have problems in speaking or anything unusual that you can tell me?”

Lucy:” Well, he speaks less, especially after what happened at the school, he prefers to stay alone. At times, he just looks at me and whispers something and again gazes somewhere as if he is seeing or listening to someone or something. Initially I thought things will change, but things were not, that’s why I took him to the hospital and they suggested your name. Will he be ok doc?”

Jones: “Well, let’s keep realistic opinions here, I am prescribing the medicines, make sure he has them regularly and I would like to see him again after say a week or two. We may need psychotherapy, vocational and social rehabilitation later if needed, I assure you those will be just a matter of time. Moreover he needs patience, love and care from you and all, it’s a tough situation, so I would suggest you to take a week off from work and stay with him. He needs your care and support more than any medicine, keep patience with him.”

Lucy nodded, not sure how much she understood or how much she wanted to, while the doctor prescribed the medicines. She felt as if the world was going black all around her.

Lucy was reading a book to Robert; they were both lying on a bed. Robert was lying close to Lucy when he asked:” Will the sound stop Mommy?”

Lucy was surprised to see him speak bit clearly, though he sounded tired, she asked: “What sound dear?”

Robert (looking to her eyes):” The scratching sound…She is making it…She wants me to play with her…I can’t….”

Lucy held him tight and said: “All will be fine dear…The sound will stop.”

Lucy didn’t know what she could do, as far as she could hear there was no noise at all and the imaginary girl also was part of the illness, she really wanted all of this to end soon. She could feel deep breaths from Robert and understood that he fell asleep. She slowly placed his head on the pillow, kissed his forehead and went to the kitchen and took a coffee. She took a sip and came to the bedroom to find the bed was empty.

Lucy felt she would faint when she saw that the door to the balcony was open and she could see Robert on the edge of the balcony, hands stretched and about to plunge down. Lucy flung herself to the balcony, the coffee glass fell down and broke to pieces spilling coffee all over and got Robert just a second before he was about to fall, he was shivering and so was she, as she pulled him to the bedroom and closed the balcony door and bolted it. She was feeling breathless and tired. After placing the sleeping Robert on the bed, she fell to the ground and cried loudly.

Dr. Jones was tensed as he slowly paced around his room. He had received the call from Lucy and he had told that he will increase the doze of medicines for Robert; though he didn’t like the idea of increasing medicine doss for a child of eight years. Meanwhile he insisted that Lucy to never leave Robert alone and always keep him with her. Lucy was really freaked out and she wanted the sun to rise to take Robert to hospital. She sat on the verge of the bed, afraid to sleep, though her eyes felt tired and her head kept drooling, she yawned and kept her eyes open. Some lights were flickering and a clinking sound of metal could be heard. Lucy suddenly opened her eyes, she didn’t knew when she fell asleep, she could see Robert standing in front of her, holding a 6 inch kitchen knife in his right hand. He was staring blankly at Lucy.

Lucy:” Honey, what are you doing with that, it’s not something to play with, please, put it down.”

Robert: “She will kill you with this knife Mommy…She kills everyone with this knife, I need to throw it away. I can’t let her come near you.”

Lucy:” She is not here Rob…Listen to Mommy…put that knife down…take it easy…Look at Mommy…please.”

Robert:” I can’t Mommy, she is here.”

With a quick slash Robert plunged the knife in to his neck, on the left side; blood spurted out all over his clothes and the room.

Lucy:” No…..” She flung herself around Robert and pulled the knife out, the wound was deep and blood was flowing out. She tore open the bed sheet and covered his neck to prevent the blood flow. She half carried Robert and called for an ambulance over the phone. She didn’t know how she ran downstairs and opened the door, and within seconds an ambulance came. Two men shifted Robert to the ambulance and Lucy too entered. The ambulance left to the hospital.

The doctor came out of the operation theatre and looked at Lucy. His face was expressionless when he told the expectant looking Lucy :” I am sorry, we tried our level best, but the wound was deep and too much blood was lost. We lost him by the time he reached the theatre.”

Lucy fell unconscious.

The funeral of Robert was done in the local church Sunday morning. Lucy couldn’t sit at home and so she insisted that she would be in the church till evening, where she could see the freshly cut mound of mud, under which Robert was now resting. Dr. Jones had paid a visit saying that he never expected the illness to grow to such a big level in a short period of time. Around six, the priest came and said her that she has to leave. She left the church and went near the funeral ground to find that the ground was entirely covered with yellow maple leaves. More leaves were falling out from nowhere, as if maple trees were there, but no trees could be found.  Lucy felt a shiver run through her spine. She heard a small sound behind her and looked behind. A young girl of around 10 years was standing there, she was so pale that she felt like moonlight and had deep black circles beneath her eyes. She wore a red frock with white flowers and black dots.

Lucy:”Who are you?”

The girl smiled, took the six inch kitchen knife in her hand and said: “He wouldn’t let me near you and now he is gone…Now we have lots of time to play…”

My quotes

1. Never hurt a person's feelings, especially of one that cares for you.
   It's like breaking a rope and the tying it, no matter how hard you try,
   the knot of unhappiness remains.

2. I hope love was simple to explain and make others understand.No matter
   how hard we try, people often don't understand love is giving and many
   take that for granted.

3. I can't just agree to whatever you say to win your favour. I speak the
   truth and the truth is only for the strong hearted to bear.

4. A silent cry is worth more than a thousand words.

5. My voice and eyes are the carriers of my emotions. They can never lie.

6. Success comes when you decide you are fortunate than others and remain
   humble to accept that God has shown his grace on you.

7. Pain is the inevitable mother of perfection.

8. I can fight all evils if I know there is someone or somthing that
   matters. Loneliness is the thing am most afraid of, it makes one
   loose a battle even before started.

9. Life itself is a mystery, by the time you unfold it, life will be over.

10. Trust something will happen and it will happen; if it does not the
    time has not yet come or the consequences are too harsh for that
    to happen.

11. A broken heart bleeds forever. Some people hide it, some show.

12. I don't want to say anything about me, let others talk about that,
    I have many things to do before I leave this world.

13. I wish I could be like a child for that is when we can adore
    pure happiness.

14. Words well used are like pearls, their value increases with time.

15. I wish to remain the most unknown among all, with recognition
    comes glory and pride, which I am afraid of.

16. People often forget the value of something after they get it. The effort it took to get something must      always be remembered; something/someone remains with us only if we accept it's/their worth and respect it/them.

17. Thank for having food,clothing and shelter today. You are lucky than many in this world.

Virgin Mary..Worshipping or praying to her?

Today I am going to touch one of the most debated topics in the world,yeah,
I know many have already talked about it and I am confirming that I am
just giving my insight in to the same. I remember drawing a picture of the Virgin Mary and I even
have a statue of her in my room. A certain person raised an allegation
that I was trying to do idol worship and praying to Mary, who is not God,
which according to the Bible is the worst of all sins. Well, let me tell him
and others who think like that what is my opinion on the same.
To begin with, Virgin Mary is the mother of Jesus Christ, no historian,
no politician, no human, living or non living being can ever change this
fact. If thereis one person in this life who has suffered the most for us,
it will be a mother only. She bears us in her womb for nine months, suffers
great pain and discomfort in giving birth and growing us up.So Jesus, though
the son of God and God Himself in human form, needed a mother to give
birth to him and raise him. Mary was chosen by God himself to become the'
mother of Jesus (well here the bible is my proof.) SO God could have
chosen anyone with all his mighty powers to become the mother of Christ,
or even give human form to the child Jesus as a matter of fact without a
mother giving birth to him; yet God decided that a woman, who He favoured,
had the great privilege in giving birth to His son in earth. It is God
who honoured her, who are we to dishonour a person who God Himself has
honoured? And above all, a mother is the one most closest to a child and
Jesus has this connection with Mary and this indeed suggests that God
Himself finds favour in her and Mary has the right to be venerated.

Now the million dollar question, is Mary God to be prayed to, my answer will
be 'No', I never say I pray to as I do to God. But then again, we have proof
that she is one person who has won favour with God. The angel Gabriel salutes
her during the annunciation as "Hail, thou that art highly favoured,
the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women." These bible verses
clearly shows Mary has won special favour with God by rightful living and
she is blessed among women, which makes her place extremely special in
the hearts of Christians (beleivers of Mary). Let me cite a small example
here, if someone asks me something that I am in confusion whether to do or
not, I may not do it owing to the fact that what I may do may not be for
the overall good (hence doubting whether to do or not). Again, I may consult
with a good freind/companion on his/her views on the same and act according
to that as I know that person I can beleive in. So obviously the decisions
that we take can be indeed be influenced/helped by those who we love or those
who love us. Often we make hard decisions which may even hurt us to keep our
freinds or loved ones happy. In the same way, we request Mary for her
intercession in our prayers so that she can request God on our behalf to help
us, so we make sure our prayers are being heard. Again, some often question
me, we can pray directly to God, no need of intermediate persons; but again,
in childhood, sometimes when we need something from our father which we
are a bit afraid to take up, we ask our mother to take up, who at a very
suitable time presents it to the father and mostly gets it done (unless it's
not genuine). In the same way, being the Mother of Jesus, she can take
things to God on our behalf and request to hear our prayers to God. The
world is filled with sins and the intercession of Mary can definitely help
us to regain our faith in God.
Another question is regarding statues of the Virgin, Jesus and other saints
seen exquisitely in Catholic churches and in public places where people
kneel in front of them, light candles, say prayers etc: I am also against
idol worship, but the thing here is we are not worshipping the mre idol but
the idol is a replica of the person in front of us, for us to see and feel
the presence of that person. How good it will be if you have a photograph of
a person with you while you can talk to that person, rather than simply
look in to air and converse with them, let alone many prefer face to face
conversations rather than phone conversations, all of this owing to the
fact that when our eyes see something, our whole mind can concentrate on
that thing, so when we see a statue of the Virgin, we remember her and the
hardships that she suffered in bringing Christ to this world.
A great inspiration that we can from the Virgin is the fact that she had
beleif, beyond anyone in the God, that whatever happens to her is by the
will of God and she was ready to face the consequences. When she was not
even married or known a man, she agreed to carry Jesus in her womb by
saying :"Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to
thy word". At an ancient time like that (even now), how many of us would
beleive a virgin could give birth to a child, the society could have marked
her as a prostitue and stoned to death, the most horrid of all and yet
she beleived in God's decision more than hers or anyone else's. Thus by
asking the intercession of Mary we prove that we have a faith in her,
like she had a faith in the Lord, a faith that nothing bad will happen,
a faith which is unshaken whatever happens. Things may not always go as
we planned or as we like, but the thing is God knows everything and his
plan is bigger and better for everyone, Mary teaches us that and with
her we beleive to beleive in God whatever be the situation.
There are people who want their eyes closed all the time even after proofs
are showered in front of them, to them what can I say:"To wake up a person
who is asleep is possible, but what shall I do one who pretends to be asleep?"
They ask like how I can be so sure about the intercession of the Virgin is
truly powerful; I just ask one question:" If your mother asks you something
that you can do, will you do it or not?"..This is the same case with Jesus.
If you ask me for a Biblical example the wedding at Canah where Jesus transformed
water in to wine on Mary's request is the finest example of the same. The
time of Jesus to start doing miracles haven't arrived and He tells this
to herbut again, considering the request came from a mother who beleives her
son, He did that and it's considered to be the first miracle of Jesus on earth.
Thus even Jesus proves that Mary, as his mother has a great influence on
him and the genuine requests made on our behalf by her will not be negelcted.
She is our lady of miracles, behold her, for she is the one who asks the
Lord and the Lord provides whatever she asks for.
Another great quality that the Virgin shows us that gained her the immense
popularity is her virtue, her humbleness, even after being the mother of
Christ, she is all the more humble and beleives it's Lord's decision to
choose her and not her decision to choose the Lord. She was well aware of
the fact that she was going to be the mother of Christ, a position many
women wanted, a role only one woman in the entire mankind would ever receive,
this was the position given to Mary by God. How great would be the feeling
to give birth to the creator of the entire universe, Christ being the
redeemer, Mary the redeemed. Before you say a word against the Virgin,
think how will you please the son by offending and abusing his mother?
She is the door of salvation that opens to Jesus, without her how can you
ever appeal to God, by not honouring his greatest beleiver, how can you
honour him? Mary says in the bible that generations will call her blessed
and describes her as the servant of God, that's what we study from Mary.
Even after knowing she got the prime position as a woman, she went across
to serve Elizabeth as she was pregnant with John the baptist.
Mary, the name itself drives salvation, like a mother unites with her child,
through blood and body, Christ has joined himslef with Mary, both physically
and spiritually. She stands as a mother to entire humankind, gentle and mild,
as a rescue point for sinners, a redeemer of souls, a proof that the humblest
will receive the greatest honours and the mother of God. Behold her in times
of trouble and you will see a mother's protection cover you, she weeps with
you and her soul wishes everyone should be redeemed. Avoid the arrogance and
behold our mother, for she is the only woman who can lead us to salvation.
Above views are totally mine and not for any controversies. These are knowledges
shared across by various saints, the Church and a few I have received while
praying the rosary. Put your beleif in her and she will never let you down.
As I call her 'Mama' she is there for me, for you and for anyone who calls
up on her, her intercession gives me power, a sinner like me stands in front
of God through her prayers and I beleive in Totus Tus (Totally yours) Mama.

Closed Eyes, a poem written by me today quickly

CLOSED EYES:

People say I see the world when eyes open,

I don’t feel so, for you are not there.

I see this world, when eyes are closed,

For you come in then and make my world.

A wonder it seems, I fear to open my eyes

For I can’t let the light of your image leave me ever.

There can’t be a moment when you,

Haven’t touched my heart and soul;

For all I know for sure here is only you.

I thought a rose flower to be the epitome of beauty

Till I saw your face, like a thousand bloomed red roses.

I could feel your heart beat every time

For that’s the only sound I hear in my ears.

The darkness I see when my eyes are closed

Cannot bother me, as you are a sun in there.

Glittering like a star, I always wonder how

Stars aren’t ashamed seeing how perfect you shine than them;

The sun even has gone in to hiding at night,

Not being able to see the shining beauty that ensembles you.

I have indeed waited in silence, for a million years, quite unknown to everyone

To just have a glimpse of yours, to just see a smile on that beautiful face

The smile that shines even brighter than the moon.

I disagree with people saying dreams aren’t true

For my only dream is you, and you are the only real one for me.

A deep sorrow plunges in to my heart,

Whenever you say goodbye and leaves;

The moments I spend thereby,

Are just for the moment when I see you again.

Why I search in every crowd your face, I am uncertain,

For I know for sure you can’t be anywhere there,

There’s no place for logics or calculations when it comes to you for me,

As you make my life and life’s when I have you as my life.

When you are not there, I feel lifeless

As the mere thoughts I have of you keeps my breath on this earth.

I will choose to close my eyes forever and bid adieu to the world

When I see you happy and content in life

What it means to me when you are far away from me

I know I live in every heart beat you take.

I am the smell that engulfs in every breath you have,

And I know my name will be always safe on your lips.

For I can’t fear even death now,

For in the world to come I am sure,

No one can ever make us apart,

Our hearts will meet in the garden of heaven forever and ever and ever.